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The Mommy Mirror

  In the age of social media, where perfectly filtered family photos and carefully curated snippets of life flood our screens, it's become almost second nature for mothers to engage in the "Mommy Olympics." We scroll through feeds and unknowingly tally up who seems to have it "more together," whose kids are hitting milestones faster, whose house is cleaner, and whose date nights look more romantic. But this constant comparison, this constant looking into the "Mommy Mirror," is not just a harmless pastime – it's a dangerous thief of joy, peace, and even harms our own sense of self.

  Think about it. You see a friend posting about her toddler potty training while yours is still more interested in wearing the contents of the toilet bowl. Another mom shares her perfectly organized pantry, while yours looks like a rogue snack explosion. Suddenly, a perfectly normal stage in your journey feels like a failure. You start questioning your abilities, your choices, and ultimately, your worth as a mother.

We have such a hard time to remind ourselves that what we are seeing online is a highlight reel! NOT reality! People choose the moments they want to share! 

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Here's why this comparison game is so toxic:

  • Every Child and Every Family is Different: Children develop at their own pace. Families have unique circumstances, support systems, and parenting styles. What works beautifully for one family might be a complete disaster for another.

  • It Fuels Insecurity and Self-Doubt: Constantly measuring yourself against "better" moms chips away at your confidence. You start focusing on your shortcomings instead of celebrating your strengths and the ways you nurture your children.

  • It Steals Your Present Moment: When you're busy looking over the fence at what other moms are doing, you miss the precious moments unfolding right in front of you!

  • Comparing just breeds Isolation, Not Connection: Instead of fostering a sense of community and shared experience, comparison can lead to feelings of isolation and competition. You might feel less inclined to be vulnerable or share your struggles for fear of not measuring up.

So, how do we break free from the dangerous cycle of comparison?

I promise, Your kids aren't going to know that you aren't a Pintrest mom! They won't even if you haven't showered in three days! Heck! My five year old tells me att least 5 times a day that I am beautiful! And coming from him, it means the most! They don't care if your hair is a tad crazy or if your house isn't Instagram-ready. They care about your hugs, your smiles, and the way you make them feel safe and loved. If your kiddos were in a room with a million people, they would choose you every single time! So, ditch the mommy mirror. It's a liar. You are perfect, just as you are, in the eyes of the little people who matter most. Now go forth and embrace the beautiful, messy, wonderful reality of your motherhood. You're rocking it!

  • Recognize the Trigger: Become aware of when you start comparing yourself. Is it after scrolling through social media? During a playdate? Once you identify the triggers, you can consciously try to limit your exposure or shift your mindset.

  • Unfollow and Mute: Don't hesitate to unfollow or mute accounts on social media that consistently leave you feeling inadequate. Curate your online space to be filled with positivity and genuine connection.

  • Focus on Your Own Journey: Remind yourself that your path is unique. Celebrate your own milestones, big and small. Focus on the progress your child is making and the love you share as a family.

  • Practice Gratitude: Take time each day to appreciate the good things in your life and your children. Shifting your focus to gratitude can help combat feelings of lack and envy.

  • Connect Authentically: Seek out genuine connections with other mothers. Share your real experiences – the messy, the joyful, and everything in between. Vulnerability fosters true connection and reminds you that you're not alone in your struggles.

  • Remember Your Strengths: You have unique talents and qualities that make you an amazing mother. Focus on what you do well and celebrate your individual strengths.

  • Be Kind to Yourself: Motherhood is hard. There will be days when you feel like you're failing. Extend the same compassion to yourself that you would offer a struggling friend.

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